


Seeing You, Feeling You

by sparkleaegi



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Organ Transplantation, i can't write fluff so i hope to improve here, i can't write good angst either, i'm your resident cringy writer folks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-04-19 05:35:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14230440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparkleaegi/pseuds/sparkleaegi
Summary: Yoon Jisung lost his boyfriend to a fatal car crash that almost took his life, and immediately ran away with his boyfriend's.Park Jihoon cried his eyes out on the day of his best friend's funeral, after the young boy had been shot in a convenience store stick-up. He still blames himself for not staying by his side, and for not being physically able to do so.Three years after all of that, Yoon Jisung will finally be meeting the receiver of his boyfriend's eyes, and Park Jihoon will finally be seeing the receiver of his best friend's heart.





	1. miracles are not real

The thunder cracks like a whiplash, its deafening sounds seemingly getting louder as Jisung and Daniel approach the open end of the uphill road.

“Jisung, the brake ran out!”

All that Jisung can do is to scream at the top of his lungs, foreseeing his and his boyfriend’s inevitable death. Jisung knows that there’s a chance he, or Daniel, or both he and Jisung, would not make it out of this alive.

Jisung is clinging onto Daniel’s hand for dear life, as Daniel slowly lets go of the wheel, letting the slippery road take them where they’re supposed to be.

“Daniel,” Jisung’s voice trembles both in fear and in the coldness, as he cups Daniel’s face as gently as he can. “We’ll make it out of this together, okay?”

Daniel nods, and he closes his eyes as he kisses Jisung’s forehead. Tears roll down his cheek as he begins to accept what has come to both of them.

“I love you now, and I’ll love you even after this,” Daniel finds his voice cracking, him being overwhelmed with his tears. “Please never forget about me, Jisung-“

“Don’t _say_ that!” Jisung cries out. “We get out of this together, or we both die together!”

“Jisung, I-“

Daniel’s black Mazda speeds past the fragile barriers of the slippery uphill road, rapidly sending the couple down a slippery cliff. Daniel covers Jisung in his embrace, bracing himself for the crash waiting for them under.

The car spins, and then crashes on rocks.

The crash had been harsh enough to almost knock Jisung out, but not quite. Jisung still feels the sharp piercing of the shattered car glass on his right leg, where it stings the most.

Jisung is drained of his remaining energy after the crash, and is now a mixture of blood, mud, and rainwater. Still, he finds the strength to look up at Daniel and touch his face, the entirety of it being covered in sharp glass and blood.

“Daniel… Daniel, please…” tears roll out of Jisung’s emotionless eyes. “Please… speak to me.”

Daniel had hit his head on a rock as the window beside him crashed, where he had been leaning.

Jisung had known that there was absolutely no chance for Daniel to make it, but maybe miracles happen.

Just maybe, miracles are real.

 

 

 

“Hey, be careful!”

Jihoon innocently giggles as he slowly crouches to take the oranges he had dropped on the floor. He and his best friend, Park Woojin, had dropped by the local night market first to taste different street food. Jihoon was not able to eat any of these as a child, until that moment, when Woojin had decided that Jihoon had had enough of being trapped at home.

“I’m sorry,” Jihoon does not forget to apologize. “I’ll hold on to the oranges properly now.”

“It’s okay, I’ll bring it for you. Besides, I was the one who surprised you.” Woojin laughs.

“I know, you got me so bad!” Jihoon faces the sky and lets out a loud laugh. “I hate you, Park Woojin!”

Woojin catches on, and copies Jihoon as a form of expression for their mutual feelings in their friendship. “I hate you too, Park Jihoon!”

“Wow, the last time we did that, we were 9. Weren’t we?”

“Yeah…” Woojin slowly nods. “And we looked at the sky together and marked the stars that were ours.”

Jihoon stops walking out of habit, and Woojin hates that he knows the reason why, and that at the same time, he can’t do anything about it.

To Woojin’s surprise, Jihoon drops his tapping cane on the concrete, so forcefully that Woojin thought that Jihoon had broken his cane in half.

“I-I’m sorry,” Woojin hastily picks Jihoon’s tapping cane up, and places it in Jihoon’s right hand. “That wasn’t my intention.”

“It’s not your fault,” Jihoon mutters emptily. “Don’t worry. I know that I’m blind.”

“I’d give you my eyes if I could, you know.” Woojin pats Jihoon’s back, in a desperate effort to comfort the boy he had let down for a few seconds.

“You don’t have to, Woojin.” The corner of Jihoon’s lips begin to rise again, only proving that anything Woojin does and says can make Jihoon smile in a split second. “You are my eyes.”

“Aww, come on.” Woojin puts his arm on Jihoon’s shoulder and pulls him closer. “Wait, hold on—I’ll run into the convenience store to pick up your favorite candy, and you keep walking straight. Can I count on you?”

Jihoon’s wide smile returns upon hearing what Woojin’s about to treat him to.  “Can I count on _you_ to make that candy Skittles?”

“No shit, Jihoon!” Woojin chuckles. “Just kidding. Hold on—I’ll make this real quick!”

And Jihoon lets Woojin run quickly into the convenience store. All the memories of their childhood return, when Woojin bought Jihoon gummies and colorful citrus candies after school. Whether they had or had not finished their packs of candies upon reaching that ever-so-familiar convenience store, that’s only a street away from their street, they’d come in there and buy another two packs of candies to bring home. Jihoon is surprised that both he and Woojin had turned into teenagers that had a complete row of teeth.

Jihoon chuckles alone, wondering if, even in a span of fifteen seconds, Woojin had remembered to buy Skittles instead of M&Ms. The poor kid had always been getting confused between the two even when the large name of Jihoon’s favorite candy was plastered widely in front of a red plastic packet. That silly guy can’t possibly forget such simple details, can he—

_Bang!_

The sudden noise makes Jihoon drop the bag of oranges he had bought to bring home to his mother, once again. He slowly crouches down on the ground again, using his tapping cane to detect and gather the oranges on his own.

“What was that?!” a deep, masculine voice catches Jihoon’s attention, and while he absentmindedly gathers the oranges he had dropped, he begins to focus on the conversation.

A faint voice turns into a louder one as the convenience store doors swing open beside Jihoon. “Get him!”

“Call the ambulance!” an elderly woman cries out. In fear that Woojin may have been harmed, Jihoon immediately gets up and taps his way into the convenience store.

“Hey—hey!” another voice stops him, along with the voice pushing his arms away and out of the convenience store. “Don’t come in, young boy!”

“I—I just want to see if my friend is okay—” the worry Jihoon feels manages to crack his voice.

“Come on, come on, I’ll bring you home,” the man attempts to change the subject as he raises his voice. “Where do you live?”

“Sir, I want to know if my best friend is alright—”

The elderly woman’s voice that Jihoon had heard earlier suddenly comes out from the direction of the convenience store doors. “Sir, the young man was shot in the neck!”

And there was never any other moment that made Jihoon want to suddenly regain his vision, other than this moment.


	2. a leap of faith is the first step

"Good news, Mrs. Yoon-- we've found a heart donor for your son."

Jisung is genuinely surprised to still be breathing. 

"Thank you... so, so much... for the help, Doc." A little sniffling does not go unheard. "Are we allowed to find out who the donor is?"

Jisung feels bound. He feels bound literally, onto a hospital bed, with his arm connected to the dextrose pipe. For someone who has not been awake for more than five minutes after two and a half weeks, Jisung has a hell lot of questions he wants answered at once.

"Yes, the family has agreed to connect with the recipient of the donor, that recipient being your son."

A heart donor... a new heart. A heart that he'll be able to use to love Niel again.

"Ah, please tell me when I can talk to them. I would like to give them a message of thanks. And Doc, when will the operation be?"

That is, if Niel will be there when he opens his eyes again.

"We can proceed with the transplant 48 hours after he wakes up. Fortunately we only had to put him in artificial coma, otherwise he could not have fully recovered."

"So is it advisable that we tell him...?"

"No, please don't tell the patient first. Here's to hoping he doesn't figure it out on his own, first."

_Joke's on you, Doc. I already know._

 

It's not as if closing his eyes would make any difference, but back when Jihoon could still see, he always closed his eyes and imagined a better place when faced with a bad situation. Jihoon has already closed his eyes, hoping for the bad guy named Life to go away, but cannot let go of the white rose in his small, soft hand.

Jihoon isn't helping himself, or anyone else around him for that matter, heal by imagining the white rose as Woojin's caressing touch. After all, Woojin had his life stolen from him, and it truly was unfair for the force of nature to take him without another word. By letting go of the rose, Jihoon is letting go of Woojin as well.

"Jihoon, come on." a voice that Jihoon vaguely recognizes as Hwang Minhyun's buzzes in his left ear, at the same time that his caring touch separates his hand from the white rose. "It'll get easier soon. I promise."

"No," Jihoon shakes his head, answering vaguely to avoid everyone from hearing his cracking voice. "Wait."

"Jihoon, you'll have to say goodbye eventually," Minhyun pats Jihoon's back, holding back a sniff he's been keeping in the whole day as well. "Woojin wouldn't want to see you like this... would he?"

Of course he wouldn't. If Jihoon was sad, he'd come through with a big pack of Skittles or M&Ms. Sometimes, he'd buy a candy dispenser that makes a sound at the single push of a button. On most days, he'd hug Jihoon until he was back to being his happy, bubbly self. He'd tell Jihoon lots of cheesy stuff he never says on regular days, just because they're lame and aren't what a strong, independent boy like him would say. But at the end of the day, he'd be Jihoon's squishy, and Jihoon would be Woojin's little cupcake.

"I'm not going to say goodbye," Jihoon gulps as he gently lets go of the rose, allowing it to go where it should be. "I'm just going to say  _'See you soon'_."


	3. coincidence is just destiny being nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jihoon feasts together with the family he has treated as his own, on the third anniversary Woojin's funeral. On the same day, Jisung finally gets to look into Daniel's eyes after three years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long this writer's block is fucking intense

**2018**

Sometimes you'll never have an idea where the wind will take you. On other days, you'll get the clues dropped by the force of nature, and map your plan out quickly. In Jihoon's case, the times that he lands somewhere unexpected outnumbers the times that he actually knows where he's going. 

"Jihoon, son. Could you get that tray of fried noodles for me, please?"

He's still getting used to it- to being called the son of his best friend's mother. There's a pang in his heart that's telling him that something is wrong; after all, he doesn't want to be replacing his own best friend, the person who had always filled in the empty parts of his life. It feels wrong, but people around him keep telling him that Woojin would want the best for Jihoon- for him to be completely happy, for him to learn how to be happy even without his best friend.

Jihoon couldn't promise being a hundred percent happy without his other half, but there was no harm in trying and believing Woojin's own family members.

"Thank you, Jihoon!" Woojin's mother exclaims as she cups Jihoon's face, like Jihoon had never aged from being the young kid he used to be. "You are an actual lifesaver."

Mrs. Park, Woojin's mother, had gotten a little more wrinkly as the years had passed by. Nevertheless, her youthful smile and natural glow did not fade. You'd see that there was a 10-year difference in her face, but that wasn't reasonable enough for her to not be called beautiful anymore.

"Ah, I doubt I am," Jihoon laughs along nervously, hoping to impress the woman he had not talked to in a good amount of years. "But glad that you see me that way."

"Come on, Jihoon, you never take anyone's compliments."

Hwang Minhyun was Park Woojin's polar opposite. No one could ever have guessed that they were cousins; Woojin was playful and was always looking for trouble, and Minhyun was calm, reserved, and neat as everyone had described him to be. That didn't mean that Minhyun didn't know how to have fun, though; after all, Minhyun and Woojin were the best of friends, as well as Woojin and Jihoon. Whenever there was room for one more in the games that Woojin and Jihoon used to play, Minhyun, the older, wiser child, would join them.

Jihoon thinks that life is great if you don't have your mind occupied with something heavy, but Minhyun wants Jihoon to see that life is about conquering these challenges, even heavy challenges, such as slowly learning to accept your best friend's death. Minhyun may not have had to experience what Jihoon had experienced firsthand, but as he had been alongside him throughout all these years, Jihoon's pain and joy was just as important to him as it had been to Woojin.

This time, Minhyun wishes to prioritize caring for Jihoon.

Jihoon attempts to reach the top of Minhyun's head, to playfully hit it. "I hate how you grew twice my height."

"Wasn't it so even back then?" Minhyun chuckles, adding insult to Jihoon's representational injury. "I've always been twice your height, Jihoon. Even when we were teens."

"Quit stating the obvious, Minhyun," Jihoon hits him in the arm, and this time, he actually manages to hit him where it hurts. "I'm not blind anymore. I see things clearly now."

"Quit stating the obvious, Jihoon," Minhyun mocks Jihoon as a result of Jihoon actually doing what he had called him out for. "We know you're not blind anymore. We were there when the bandages were unwrapped."

The memories of the bandage unwrapping instantly bring a smile to Jihoon's face. At the time, the death of Woojin had still hurt too much; the feelings of resentment for life had dove deep into Jihoon's core, even affecting the way he viewed life. However, when the bandages around his head had been unwrapped, and when he had opened his eyes to actually begin seeing the products of refracted light, Jihoon had felt like he had been given a brand new life. 

A new start was all that he had needed, anyway. He didn't necessarily have to forget that his best friend had ever existed; that would be highly insulting, and would disregard everything that Woojin has ever done for Jihoon. That's the last thing Jihoon ever wants to do.

All Jihoon wants is a clear mind. Justice has been served for Woojin- the only missing step is his acceptance of reality.

"I'm still really grateful that you were there," Jihoon sighs deeply, with nostalgia and his joy untranslatable. "Sometimes all I need is another hand on my shoulder."

"That's why you have two best friends." Minhyun runs his hand through Jihoon's soft hair, ruffling it in the process. "Had Woojin been there at that moment, he'd be jumping in joy, and he'd be the first person you would see."

"Oh, Minhyun," Jihoon puts his arm around Minhyun's waist, enjoying the high view from the mall rooftop. "Woojin was there. He never left my side."

 

"Hey! Look over here!"

"Oh my... is that really him?!"

"Let's hope for the best!"

Jisung had been left alone by his caretaker by the large window for quite a time now. The young man had told him that he'd be leaving Jisung for a while for a quick restroom break, but he seems to be going at his own sweet pace, taking a long damn shit. For someone brave enough to respond to the loud call of nature in public, he's a pretty frail boy... at least, around Jisung.

It would be weird for Jisung to call his caretaker his cousin. It's not news to him; the 18-year-old is the grandson of his grandmother's second cousin. Complicated, isn't it? That's why it'd be much better to call him his caretaker, or better yet, by his name.

"Jisung, I'm here!" Speaking of the caretaker, he comes out of a hidden corner, waving at Jisung to catch his attention.

And he does manage to get Jisung's attention. The ironically strong scent of his baby perfume is the trademark Jisung is already familiarized with.

"Took you long enough, Jinyoung. What did you have in there? Some worm?"

Jinyoung chuckles, gently grasping the handles of the wheelchair he's always tasked to push for Jisung. "That pita bread you bought last week was stale as hell!"

"Well, if you'd eaten it last week, you wouldn't be having that problem." Jisung giggles, remembering reminding Jinyoung last week to eat the bread they bought from the grocery store at once, or else it would go bad before they knew it.

"Come on, Jisung, don't put all the blame on me! You're one to eat food even after the expiration date, too."

"That's because my stomach can take even 10 bowls of spoiled rice. You can't even take yogurt without your stomach churning with its usual, desperate cry for help."

"That's harsh."

"Just like the pita bread on your stomach."

"Jisung!" Jinyoung jokingly stomps his foot, completely helpless to Jisung's unstoppable streak of jokes. "Whatever, let's go. Or are you still enjoying the view?"

Jisung's smile dropping at once was an instant indication of his lack of enjoyment in the area, and Jinyoung is quick to see this. As soon as he detects this behavior from his distant cousin, he instantly turns his head.

"Hmm," Jinyoung does not pay the two young girls only about 15 feet behind them any heed. "One of your fans again, perhaps?"

"They're not my fans..." Jisung puts his head down at once in the opposite direction, immediately facing himself again with the endless amount of skyscrapers. "They're Daniel's. I remember them."

"D-Daniel's...?" Jinyoung's blood goes cold at the mention of Jisung's late boyfriend.

"Yes. They caused ruckus at a meet-and-greet once." Jisung bitterly chuckles, remembering how he had to stop them from climbing onto the stage himself. "I mean, my boyfriend was a very good-looking model. I can't blame all those people for wanting to be all over him."

"They aren't supposed to follow you around like this, though," Jinyoung notes with worry beginning to become evident in his voice. "...do you want to go now?"

"Yes please, Jinyoung," Jisung gently nods, sighing deeply as he realizes there is nothing he can do to defend himself from Daniel's loyal fans. "Mrs. Park had probably been waiting for a long time now."

"Come on, don't feel so down." Jinyoung pats Jisung's shoulder swiftly, as he needs both of his hands to push Jisung's wheelchair. "You're still the strong and frank Jisung that I know! Just because you need me to get around places now doesn't mean you're any weaker. Heck, you are one of the strongest people I know. Y'know, still holding on when there's nothing but a thread left."

Jisung swears to himself that a tear wants to fall out of his right eye. "Oh, the things I can't do without you, Jinyoung."

 

The gigantic plants outside the dome-shaped restaurant are responsible for the after-the-rain, fresh minty smell that Jihoon smells wherever he is from the rooftop. La Dolce Vita Cuisine is famous for being the largest restaurant in the biggest mall in the vicinity, which resembled a modern jungle. It is a slightly overpriced restaurant that Jihoon and Woojin had gone to once, back when the rooftop had been newly opened and the restaurant had not been as big as it is now. Both Mrs. Parks, Woojin and Jihoon's mothers, chose this restaurant to celebrate Jihoon's new shot at life, and to meet the person with Woojin's heart for the very first time.

Jihoon catches a whiff of tobacco, and is prompted to face the direction in which the smoke must've come from. He is surprised to see Minhyun, already putting his metal lighter away after swiftly lighting his cigarette. Jihoon raises an eyebrow, obviously very baffled at what he's seeing.

"I didn't know you smoked."

"Started in high school, couldn't stop ever since." Minhyun takes a long drag out of his mint cigarette. "But of course I don't pull these out around you and Woojin."

"Does Auntie know?"

"Yes, she knows. She doesn't like me doing it, but she knows."

"Shit, even  _I_ don't want you touching that stuff." Jihoon shakes his head, but continues to tolerate Minhyun by sitting beside him and staring at the bright, blue sky with him. "Did Woojin ever know about this?"

"I never bring or buy a packet around when I visit you guys. Mom would've kicked me out if she found out earlier. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I do." Jihoon nods. He points at the half-empty packet in the pocket on Minhyun's sky-blue button down. "How many of that do you need a day?"

"I can finish a packet in a day," Minhyun mutters emptily; after all, it's not exactly something to be proud of. "I'm forever going to blame Seongwoo for this."

Ah, Seongwoo. That kid used to be a bully! Back when Jihoon could still see as a child, Jihoon constantly had to hide behind Minhyun so that Seongwoo wouldn't steal coins from him and Woojin. That was all before Jihoon went blind, and Seongwoo moved away to a village closer to Minhyun's school. Yeongju Academy is a prestigious, exclusive arts school that Minhyun and Seongwoo had attended together as teens.

"You still have contact with Seongwoo to this day? But why?"

"Seongwoo and I ended up becoming classmates in the all boys school about two hours from where we are right now. That's how I met most of the friends I have today." Minhyun pauses to catch a short whiff of his cigarette. "He wasn't exactly the best friend, but he wasn't exactly the worst, either."

"So... are those relationship rumors true?"

"Stop!" Minhyun hits Jihoon's thigh with a swing of his own. "It's not something to talk about when we're having a family reunion. Invite me over for a few drinks on some other day, and THEN we'll talk."

Jihoon blinks twice in surprise at the behavior Minhyun is currently exhibiting. He'd been seeing clearly again for the past two months, but this is the first time he is seeing Minhyun in a light so different.

"I don't drink, Minhyun..."

Minhyun blinks at Jihoon twice too, having forgotten that the kid had barely turned nineteen. "Oh. Right. I'm sorry. I'm being a very bad influence right now, aren't I?"

"A very, very, very bad influence, Minhyun." Jihoon chuckles.

The faint sound of wheels skidding across the floor catches Jihoon's attention. Jihoon initially thinks that it's just a loud skid from the parking lot just a few floors under them, but then he remembers the sound of being wheeled into a room with his family and friends, his bandages ready to be unwrapped.

Jihoon would normally space out once anything reminds him of the day of his self-proclaimed rebirth, never wanting to forget the feeling of opening his eyes to light again for the first time in ten years. However, this time around, a young boy pushing someone's wheelchair for him catches his attention. The young boy seems lost, like he's not sure where to go, or who to find.

 

"Jisung, are you sure we're in the right mall?" Jisung can hear Jinyoung's big gulp of nervousness as he asks innocently. "Or that the restaurant we're looking for has a signage at all?"

"Yes, we should be near the restaurant Mrs. Park had told us to go to." Jisung looks around, looking for a certain dome-like restaurant. "The dome should have vines all over it. And plants all around."

"You mean this one we just passed by?" Jinyoung bends down to meet Jisung at eye level, and points at the establishment they literally had just passed by. "You should've told me earlier, Jisung."

Jisung giggles, finding Jinyoung's panicking tendencies hilarious. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you'd be so worked up over finding a restaurant."

"I'm sorry too, okay?!" Jinyoung freaks out, with the depths of his imagination pulling him down using memories of failed conversations. "I don't like talking to people and asking for directions!"

"You don't need to this time, little boy. Sorry too that an old dude like me has to keep asking you for help."

"Come on, I signed up for this. And you're the one who helps me prepare for school, right?" a smile stretches across Jinyoung's small lips, but the worry in his wandering eyes hasn't gone away. "Let's just find this La Dolce Vita Cuisine or whatever."

The sight of a pretty, young boy walking towards them makes Jisung press Jinyoung's hand just behind his left shoulder for a stop. Having lived with Jisung every day for the past three years, Jinyoung knows better than to interpret this as only a stop sign.

He's wearing a striped button-down, and high-waisted pants so high that Jisung already knows he's trying to fake his height. For a simple lunch, Jisung thought that he was dressed way too formal. Did he have a rich family background? Or was he headed somewhere else?

"Hello," the young goody-two-shoes kid greets both of them, but only seems to have his eyes on Jinyoung. "Are you guys missing?"

"A-Ah-Ah..."

"Yes," Jisung continues the sentence that Jinyoung had never been able to start. This poor kid won't ever get a girlfriend, considering his poor communication skills. "Actually we're looking for someone in La Dolce Vita Cuisine. Is there someone named Mrs. Park Younghee waiting for a certain Yoon Jisung?"

The young boy's eyes enlarge at the mention of Jisung's full name. He bows to him immediately as a greeting. "So  _you're_ Yoon Jisung! I'm Park Jihoon, by the way. I'll lead you both to her."

"Thank you." Jisung smiles as he bows his head at Jihoon. Jihoon smiles back at him, with his straight, perfect row of teeth. What is more noticeable, however, is the way his eyes sparkle when he smiles.

 _He has very pretty eyes,_ Jisung thinks to himself.  _Be still, my borrowed heart._


	4. not knowing the person i should know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoon Jisung is afraid that his caretaker, Jinyoung, is gradually becoming distant from him. He feels paralyzed, figuratively and literally, to know that it might be time to let the young boy go. Meanwhile, Jihoon is off to substitute at Minhyun's class as he is bedridden with fever.

When your legs can’t do the exploring for you, your eyes and your mind begin to fill in that part. Since day one of living together, that was the mantra that people assumed Jinyoung and Jisung have been living by. Two guys living in a house together for the sole purpose of helping the other out is an unusual concept that would be scrutinized by the judgmental public, had their situation been something they were ashamed of.

However, Bae Jinyoung takes pride in letting everyone know that he takes care of a family member in exchange for his attendance at the Sangcheon School of Arts. Had their families not struck a deal with each other regarding Jinyoung’s education and Jisung’s home care, Jinyoung would not even be able to attend the school of his dreams. Other people would see it as leeching off a well-off family member, but to Jisung and Jinyoung, their current standing is one hell of a win-win situation.

Jisung had gone to places he would normally not be able to go to if ever he was on his own, and Jinyoung gets to go to the school he has always dreamed of attending since he was little. In the two and a half years that the two boys have lived together, they’ve gone to places and experienced things they never would have imagined experiencing even a week before the accident had happened.

If there was anything good that came out of losing the love of his life, it was the realization that Daniel would always have wanted to give the best to anyone who could accept his help. That’s exactly the reason why someone else has his eyes, and why the idea of Daniel’s arm around his boyfriend at that moment in time pops up into Jisung’s mind every time Jisung pays Jinyoung’s tuition fee.

“Wait, Jinyoung!” Jisung desperately calls out before Jinyoung walks out the door. If he doesn’t chase him, he will probably have another regrettable day before he even gets to school.

Jinyoung, with the signature look of oblivion on his face, turns his back with his hand still stuffed in his messenger bag, the moment Jisung calls for his name. “Yes, Jisung?”

“You left a lot of important stuff.” Jisung lifts a covered bento box from his lap, and placed flat on the lid are Jinyoung’s ID, pencil case, and phone. “You’re in a big hurry today, are you?”

Jinyoung blushes profusely, as he sees the phone he’s been looking for, on top of the bento box that Jisung had prepared. “Oh, there it is! I… actually am.”

Jisung gives him a sheepish smile as it hits him that he is right again. “What’s making you rush? It’s still very early in the morning, Jinyoung. Your classes don’t start until 8:30, and it’s only 7:00A.M.”

_ This kind of chasing again,  _ Jinyoung tells himself quietly. Had he expressed his thoughts at that moment, he would probably not be able to go to school at Sangcheon to complete the next semester. Jisung could very much be his parent, but on days like this when he’s rushing, Jinyoung would rather just forget a bunch of stuff. He can live without his phone for a day, anyway. Only Jisung can’t stand the idea of not knowing where Jinyoung is and what time he’s coming home.

Jinyoung smiles nervously, hoping Jisung would let him go already. He’s about to miss the bus. “How about I tell you when I get home?”

Jisung purses his lips, feigning being upset just to tease Jinyoung. “Alright, fine. But I expect you to come home with ramyeon for both of us, so that we can have a long talk.”

“Yes, yes,” Jinyoung hastily takes the bento box with stuff on top of it from Jisung and pushes the door open with his body, as his hands are full. “See you later, Jisung.”

“See you…”

Jinyoung closes the door as soon as Jisung is out of sight, not giving Jisung time to say goodbye for the day as well. Jisung sighs deeply… hopefully, the Bae Jinyoung that he knows is the Bae Jinyoung that walks through the door tonight.

_ I’m always with you, but I miss you already, Jinyoung. _

The bus is barely coming to a halt when Jinyoung decides to hop out, earning him a nasty, but fortunately distant scolding from the bus conductor (whom he'll see again tomorrow, anyway, and in the next few days that are to come, until the conductor of the week quits his job yet again.) Jinyoung's bus stop is a 3-minute walk from Sangcheon School of Arts, but who cares? If Jinyoung manages to make ends meet with the longest stretch of his legs, those 3 minutes can easily become a minute. It's a no-brainer!

As Jinyoung runs for his dear life while he feels the (hopefully dry) contents of the lunchbox spill inside his poor bag, the smell of air quickly changes. About a few seconds ago it was the smell of gas leaking from the engine of the bus, but now that he's running on the sidewalk, surrounded by all these pretty flowers that had just been sprayed by the school janitor, it's a fresh mix of roses, lavender, and spilled kimbap and bean rice.

The Sangcheon School of Arts should not be mistaken for a small neighborhood school, nor should it be viewed as a member of the elite universities club. As far as the students, parents, faculty, and alumni were concerned, the Sangcheon School of Arts was the province's version of Seoul's worldwide-famous School of Performing Arts. We could talk about the cute purple uniforms, the velvet purple coat Jinyoung owns that feels like cashmere every time he puts it on, and the silky slacks that simply spell out royalty. Unfortunately, the greatness of a learning center should not be based on its exterior factors, such as cashmere-like coats, or gyms bigger than villages, or lunch food  that tastes like fine gourmet.

None of what had been mentioned in the paragraph above were what made the Sangcheon School of Arts rise to the level it is on today. Though art schools are known for focusing less on the subjects that require quick logic, and instead supported deep and well-thought analyses through expression by art, the work ethic that is promoted in Sangcheon is what makes it so great. This work ethic is an all-around influence, and when you catch on, you'll realize it's not just the faculty members promoting it.

Protocol no. 1 in Sangcheon is that you must, at all costs,  _never_  be late, should you want to not miss out on anything important. This applies to lessons, quizzes, classes, and even extracurricular activities. Bae Jinyoung knows this rule very well... after all, his friends have had a very good influence on him. And they should!

Once Jinyoung taps his ID onto the attendance machine, the mechanical gates are lifted open for him, and he jogs to the school field, after having exhausted himself with the unnecessary running. He had left the house at 6:45A.M., and although Jisung was right about his classes starting at 8:30 in the morning daily, this Monday was no ordinary Monday. Jinyoung had actually felt sorry for forgetting to tell his brother by heart about the week-long event that the SSoA Supreme Student Government, or the SSoa SSG, had been planning, which he was a part of.

The first time Jinyoung had announced that he would be running for the Secretary position in the SSG, Jisung was overjoyed. In his childhood, Jinyoung was never known to be the kid that puts his foot forward before anyone else. Jisung, having watched him a couple of times as a kid when he visited the province, knew this well and always tried to get Jinyoung into stuff he normally wouldn't do, to which Jinyoung would automatically decline. Jinyoung wasn't known to be a trier of new things, and for so long, it had stayed that way.

Maybe, if Jinyoung hadn't reconsidered Mrs. Yoon's offer of free education to the school of his choice, he wouldn't be there, willing to take responsibility for the delegations that were assigned to him. Maybe he wouldn't even have run for Secretary at all, if he stayed in the school he used to be in. Perhaps opening up to Jisung was the best thing he had done to improve his life. Being trapped in those four walls, with only a lonely widower who had so much to say, was the best situation he'd ever found himself in, and he only had his partner-in-crime Yoon Jisung to thank for that.

Jinyoung arrives at the field sweaty, exhausted, gaping for water, and tempted to take his thick coat off. He marvels at the sight of twelve boys, three on each corner, pulling together ropes that would eventually hold the cover of the tent in place. As he squints his eyes to see who the twelve boys are one by one, he is approached by his batchmate who is no taller than him, yet exudes so much confidence that it's starting to become intimidating.

This short boy, with hair bleached to a perfect blonde shade, crosses his arms in front of Jinyoung, hoping his body language would get the message across. Had he needed to resort to more and more words, it wouldn't be nice for the 2nd person to hear.

The sides of Jinyoung's lips tremble in an attempt to form a smile. Maybe it's because Lee Daehwi is an intimidating bitch who  _yells_  at him when he doesn't write fast enough to document the entirety of the event. It could also be because Daehwi actually is the SSG President... or maybe because Jinyoung has a teeny-tiny amount of feelings for Daehwi, and if Daehwi doesn't stop looking straight into his damn eyes every time he wants to make a simple point, he might suddenly say something he, or both of them, will regret.

"I see you're late again, Bae Jinyoung." Daehwi nods at him aggressively, his left brow skyrocketing to the moon. "Isn't your house a 15-minute bus trip from here?"

"Yes, and a 3-minute walk." For some reason, Jinyoung feels the need to emphasize the fact that he needs to walk a few meters before actually seeing the entrance to Sangcheon. No one ever understands the first time he explains it!

"Well, my house is an hour-long drive from Sangcheon, Jinyoung. An  _hour. Long. Drive."_ Daehwi snaps his fingers in front of Jinyoung's face, which is normally annoying, but now it's just getting Jinyoung's tiny heart to beat a little faster than it did a few seconds ago. "So I would appreciate it if you would show up to SSG events at least 10 minutes early. That says a lot about you... I usually give 30 minute intervals to others."

"A-ah. Yeah! I know." Jinyoung nods, trying to look for something else to look at, behind the guise of looking for something to do. "Well, I'm here now anyway. So is there anything I still have to do?"

The look on Daehwi's face darkens, and Jinyoung now knows better than to  _not_ take two steps back when he is greeted with this face. Daehwi huffs without breaking eye contact with Jinyoung, and now Jinyoung is just feeling all the wrong feelings at the exact wrong place, at the exact wrong time.

"You know what," Daehwi turns his back on Jinyoung, giving Jinyoung tiny room to breathe. "The cloths are over there, under the table that houses the water station. You and Kuanlin can begin setting up the tables so that the consignees can set up the stuff they have to sell at today's fair event. Make yourself useful, Jinyoung. I have high expectations for newcomers."'

"I-I will," Jinyoung stutters because he can't find the right words to say. "Thank you."

Daehwi senses something wrong in the way he hears this. He faces Jinyoung with a perplexed expression on his face. "Excuse me, what did you say?"

"I... I said thank you." Jinyoung repeats himself, hoping he had not offended Daehwi with his awkwardness. He thought he'd managed his awkwardness already... why did his flaws have to spill out right now?

"Oh," Daehwi blinks twice, thinking that a  _Thank you_  from a fellow SSG member is rather rare, and happens once in a blue moon. Daehwi, the SSG president, shrugs this off as yet another characteristic of a popularly shy boy. "Well... you're welcome, I guess."

Daehwi and Jinyoung part ways at that moment, with one boy feeling flattered for the first time in a rather long time, and with the other boy smiling enthusiastically as he looks for SSG Treasurer Kuanlin to help him out with the tables, as the President had ordered him to do.

** You **

You didn't tell me that this was one big ass school. I had no idea.

Park Jihoon is suddenly baffled and intimidated as he parks the red Montero Sport he had borrowed from Minhyun onto the "usual spot" Minhyun said he always occupied. Jihoon has absolutely no idea how he was able to point out which slot in the parking lot had "two slashes on the yellow border" and "was beside an upside down disabled person logo", but thank goodness for that detail Minhyun always puts in his sentences. For the first time in his 19 years of living, that detail actually went to good use.

** Minhyun **

I already told you it was a big arts school. You just underestimated my words.

Minhyun shouldn't even be on his phone right now, but let's face it. If he's stubborn enough to ignore Jihoon's advice to "not smoke an entire packet in just one day", that guy will, in all hell, not put his phone down when he should be resting. Don't get me wrong, Jihoon cares deeply for Minhyun. It's just that when there are times like this, Minhyun chooses to "be here for a good time, not a long time", and that is completely out of Jihoon's reach as a family friend.

Jihoon puts his phone in his pocket, preparing to look for the Faculty Office that Minhyun had said was only on the first floor. However, with the size of this place, there was no way Jihoon was going to be able to find the Faculty Office without asking someone. Minhyun was right... Jihoon shouldn't have underestimated his words when he said that "Sangcheon School of Arts is not your typical art school with the lockers and the solo easels per student and the crazy athlete scholarships". Nope, one step in and Jihoon already knows that this school is more than those labels.

Jihoon begins to scan the student body for people he could possibly ask for help, and he realizes that his judgmental instincts have come back. He couldn't possibly have judged a person before- Jihoon was a boy who relied on the voice of people to determine if they were a good person or not. Now that he sees new people for the first time, though, he was back to having first impressions on people.

Who should Jihoon ask for help? Should it be those girls huddled in one corner at the locker at his left?  _Nope, they are definitely whispering to each other about me as they look at me head to toe, though I can't tell if they're checking me out or singling me out._ Should it be that guy flirting with his boyfriend in an establishment where public display of affection between, to and from students is prohibited?  _Nope, I do not want to associate myself with those kinds of people._ Should it be that little boy who is probably giving orders to a fellow student even when he can do it himself?  _Perfect! He is probably the Supreme Student Government President._

Without hesitation, Jihoon approaches the boy, who, now that he is in front of him, doesn't seem so much like a little boy or a 2nd grader. In fact, they might actually be the same height. Now... that says a lot about Jihoon's own height.

Moving on! Jihoon clears his throat, remembering no other way to assert authority to someone who is just over a year younger. "Good morning, can I ask you where the Faculty Office for the Senior Batch department is?"

"Oh, are you Mr. Hwang's substitute?" and Jihoon is blown away by this young boy's quick recalling skills. How can he remember which teacher is going to be subbed and whatnot? Is that even part of his job as SSG President?

Jihoon nods. "Yes, and I assume you are the SSG President that Mr. Hwang has been telling me about. Lee Daehwi, am I right?"

Daehwi instantly smiles at the sound of fresh recognition. Finally, he doesn't have to prove himself to an authority figure for once! His hard work has finally paid off. "Yes, I am Lee Daehwi! It's nice to meet you, Mr...?"

"...Park. I'm Mr. Park Jihoon." That felt a little weird to spit out, especially since Jihoon had just been calling his own professors with the Mr. prefix just a year before, and now he is being addressed as a professor himself. Jihoon has had a taste of maturity, but he's not exactly ready for the full dose just yet.

"Mr. Park Jihoon, well, it's very nice to meet you." Daehwi bows a full 90 degrees to Jihoon, which feels  _very_ weird, but he entertains him anyway. "The Senior Batch department faculty office is at the right side at the very end of this hallway, here." Daehwi lays his hand out to the direction Jihoon should be going. "I know Mr. Hwang well- he was actually our council adviser last year. We talk often, too. That's why I know that he only has to sit through three 1 and a half hour classes on Mondays."

"Wait- so that's all I'm doing today?" Jihoon had no idea- Minhyun said he would stay in the same room the whole day! That cheeky bastard.

"Yes, Mr. Park," Daehwi nods, "Oh, and if you have nothing else to do, I suggest you drop by the Supreme Student Government's event at the fields. We'll be there the whole day, until 4:30P.M. Students are selling food, stationary, and lots of other stuff you probably don't need anymore, but maybe you'd like to check it out."

Jihoon chuckles at the amount of sarcasm that last sentence Daehwi spit out had. "Sure, I'll check it out later. Where exactly is the fields?"

Daehwi takes a step back and lays his hand out in the opposite direction, pointing to a wide, two-door that leads directly to the soccer fields. "Once you push that door, you should be met by a column of gazebos. You can begin looking there. We're occupying the whole field, so there's no telling how much you're bound to find."

"Okay, then," Jihoon nods, and gives Daehwi a firm pat on the shoulder, before he leaves. "Thanks for that little introduction, buddy."

"No problem. If you need any assistance, I'll be here." Daehwi slurs what sounds like an automated response, before resuming to his high-pitched authoritarian voice and screeching from Jihoon's opposite direction. That kid... he has a lot of potential.

"Hey, are you guys selling lemonade?"

Jinyoung's neck almost snaps at the speed of his reflexes, after hearing yet another question about their product, which they currently advertise with a large signage behind them. On the signage says in alternating pink and green highlighter marks,  _FRESHLY SQUEEZED LEMONADE!!!! 50 CENTS A CUP!!!!!_

"Y-yes we are," Jinyoung puts his phone back in his pocket after bombarding Kuanlin with messages being left on Delivered. He'd been manning the stall alone for the past hour, and leaving Jinyoung to sell lemonade alone isn't the best option there is when it's class dismissal. "Just one cup, sir?"

"Wait- I know you!"

The peculiarity of the response causes Jinyoung to furrow his eyebrows in confusion. With his hand still halfway inside the fresh lemonade jug, he faces the customer with a perplexed look on his face. Once Jinyoung makes eye contact with him, Jinyoung already knows exactly what he's talking about.

"I know you too!" Jinyoung exclaims as he recognizes the customer's face. "Park Jihoon, right?"

"Yep, that's me!" Jihoon chuckles in positive disbelief. "Wow, I didn't know you studied here! This school's very nice, huh?"

"Mhm," Jinyoung nods as he pours lemonade onto a medium-sized plastic cup. "This is actually my dream school. I always wanted to attend this school since I was very little. And thanks to Jisung, I'm already here."

"Jisung..." Jihoon lets the familiar name linger in his mouth for a little while, before actually recalling the memory of him. "He has the heart... right?"

Jinyoung's gaze drops to the ground, realizing he has to defend his family's name yet again. "Yep, he has the heart. And what about it?"

"Wait, wait. I didn't mean any offense." Jihoon purses his lips, but just enough for it to still look like a smile. "I...I just realized I hadn't thanked him enough last time."

Jihoon, indeed, had not. When the two former patients, and organ receivers, had first met, Park Woojin's family had expected the two to click like fated best friends, like soulmates. Unfortunately, with how fast Yoon Jisung had wanted the family lunch at La Dolce Vita to go, as he was feeling outnumbered and out of place, and with Jihoon sitting at another end of the table, far from Jisung, he had not been able to strike a conversation about how he could relate to him as an organ receiver. Jihoon thought that he would be able to let it go the moment Yoon Jisung was out of sight, but the look of emptiness on his face and the face of his caretaker was enough to haunt him in his sleep.

Jinyoung cocks his head, not particularly sure what Park Jihoon is talking about. "Do you wanna see him?"

Jihoon nods without hesitation. "Yup, I actually do. Could you tell him that I want to see him some other day?"

"No," the authority in Jinyoung's voice was enough to scare the living shit out of frail, innocent Jihoon. Had Jihoon really said something wrong for him to suddenly act like this, when Jihoon remembered him as someone who was just as fragile a boy as he was? "Actually, do you want to join Jisung and I for ramen night?"

This legitimately takes Jihoon by surprise. He hadn't been at someone else's house his whole life other than Woojin's own family members' and Minhyun's- and to think that he was going to the house of the person who now had Woojin's heart. It feels like he's coming home to a stranger.

"Uh, sure. What kind of ramen are you guys planning to eat? Like, instant ramen? Or restaurant ramen?"

"I prefer restaurant take-out, but Jisung likes when I cook instant ramen with cheese at home. Therefore, what Jisung wants, we all get."

The bells hanging by the door of Yoon Jisung's condominium unit chime, and Jisung knows that Jinyoung has come home. He's just about to wheel himself out of the kitchen and call for Jinyoung's name, which is the usual drill, but this time, the bells chime twice. Jinyoung has come home with someone else.

Wow, this is another level of disappointment. He knows that Jinyoung's a growing teenager who needs a fair share of his alone time with someone else who needs alone time, but he should've at least told Jisung first before bringing in some stranger into  _his_  home! Wow, this is another level of anger he's feeling! He hasn't felt this way in three years-

_ Jinyoung- why didn't you tell me- _

"Hey, hey, Jisung!"

Jinyoung catches Jisung before he falls off his teetering wheelchair. There it goes, Jisung's anger and rage that's been saved for a quite a time now. The doctor had warned them both about the repercussions in case it happened, and Jinyoung was thankful that he had been able to save Jisung from further injuries in the nick of time.

"Jisung, what's wrong?" Jinyoung asks as he simultaneously turns the stove knob to a full power-off. "What's on your mind?"

Jisung faces Jinyoung with a grim look on his face. "You're... keeping secrets... from me."

"What?" Jinyoung remembers all that parent correlation shit he'd been thinking about that same morning, and it begins to haunt him that it could've been on Jisung's mind all day. "Come on, you said we were gonna have ramen night so we could talk about it."

"Listen, Jinyoung..." Jisung coughs out a good bunch of air before his voice improves from a croak to a low voice. "You don't have... you don't have to lie, okay."

"Look, I'm sorry about this morning, okay? I'll never be in that kind of rush again if it bothers you that much-"

"Do you want a place of your own, Jinyoung?"

This question takes Jinyoung by surprise. He opens his mouth to answer, but not a whisper comes out.

This body language is a signal for Jihoon to stay in the living room first. Not even five minutes into Yoon Jisung’s home and chaos ensues. Maybe it was his fault for agreeing to come into the house of someone he barely knew… even when that someone now possessed his best friend’s heart. Maybe that fact didn’t even matter at all. Maybe Woojin’s heart really belonged to someone else now, someone else whose soul didn’t resembles Woojin’s at all. Maybe it was time for him to accept it.

Was that it? Was Jisung kicking Jinyoung out already?

"J...Jisung... why..."

Whatever the answer was, Jinyoung would have to wait until the next morning for an answer. Jisung had fallen asleep in his arms, and by the next morning he probably would have a headache so bad he would not remember the whole conversation.


End file.
